David's Blog

If you’re going to a wedding with an open bar, this is a ranked list of what you should order:

1. The couple’s signature drink
2. French 75
3. Rob Roy

Criteria

A wedding drink order has to take a number of considerations into account.

First, the bartender doesn’t have time to do almost any prep. That includes measuring ingredients, shaking, stirring. He is likely scrambling to serve 100+ people who just want alcohol RIGHTNOW. So if you’re asking for a drink, it better have ~2 ingredients that taste good just poured in a glass with ice. It should also be a well-known drink, or else you better be able to explain it in 5 syllables or less.

Second, the bartender probably is also working with pretty limited stock. He’ll have staple ingredients (gin, vodka, tequila, American whiskey, blended scotch, beer, white and red wine), basic mixers, basic garnishes, no bitters, no syrups. And he’ll probably have no equipment.

Third, you have no idea how long the line for the bar is going to be, nor when you’ll have a chance to go back. You probably want something strong, something that will last.

Fourth. Bonus points if the drink gives you something to talk about. God knows you want a neutral topic of conversation right now.

Why These Drinks Work

First for the signature drink. These are usually prepared in advance and made in large quantities. So you won’t be bothering the bartender when you ask for one. Being prepared in advance means that signature cocktails are usually made more precisely (i.e. ingredients are actually measured), and taste-tested. Since the couple has put their names on it, it’s usually also more impressive and sophisticated. It’ll often have interesting or better quality ingredients – the kinds of things that would be too expensive to include in an open bar. It may even have a garnish. In short: it’s your only shot of getting a craft cocktail. Take it. And it’s a great neutral topic to talk about – why did they pick this drink, have you ever had anything like this before, etc. It checks all of the boxes.

If there is no signature drink offered, get a French 75. Tell the bartender you want “gin and sour mix”. Then go back to your table, get your glass of champagne, and add it to the gin/sour-mix. Bingo, bongo: you’ve got a French 75, one of the best drinks there is. Also, did you just mix your own drink at a wedding? Sounds like a great story to tell while you’re walking around making conversation with people you don’t know.

If there is no champagne or no gin or no sour mix (very unlikely), your drink of last resort is a Rob Roy. Tell the bartender you want a “scotch Manhattan”. Blended scotch and sweet vermouth – a cherry if you’re feeling adventurous. It is a fantastic drink and dead simple. And it gives you something to talk to all of the old ladies about.